One of the most horrifying things I have ever experienced happened yesterday. While driving home, Sean hit a cat. There was no way for him to stop in time because it darted out in the road so fast.
It was a beautiful orange cat and it was somebody's pet.
After he hit it, Sean refused to stop the car and said, "there's nothing we can do," even though I was literally screaming at him to stop so hard and loud that I went hoarse. I looked in the rear view mirror and saw that somebody else who saw what happened had a good enough heart to pull over and help this poor cat who was flailing around in the middle of the street. It was the saddest thing I have ever seen, save for watching my sister die.
When we got to our our apartment, I got out of the car and immediately began walking back down the street to where the incident occurred - I wanted to find somebody and anybody to apologize to on behalf of my neanderthal of a heartless husband. I wanted to see if the cat had a tag on - I could call its owners and let them know what happened. I would want to know. Oh God, it could have been our cat.
By the time I got there, with Sean following me in the car the whole way (waiting, as I found out, to yell at me for being dumb enough to think I would find the cat and/or its owners), the cat and the other car that had pulled over were gone. I couldn't decide if I should knock on every door on the street to try to find its owners or not - I felt so helpless and disgusting. I didn't, and I can only hope that the other people that pulled over with hearts bigger than Sean's took the cat to the vet.
Yes, Sean has apologized to me over and over again, but I can't help but feel so disappointed. I know he would make the same decision to drive away all over again. What if that was our cat? Who is this cold man I married? Why didn't I jump out of the car to try to help in any way that I could? I am so sad about this.
I don't think the cat lived, but I hope that its owners were found and that they know what happened. And I hope that I can find the strength within myself to really forgive Sean and myself for our parts (or lack thereof) in another cat owner's loss.
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Yuck. This makes me sad.
ReplyDeleteBut, seriously, you are such a caring person- I don't think anyone could hold this against you. (except, of course....you.) Don't be too hard on yourself!
Are you sure we weren't separated at birth? This post could have been easily written by me, I would have felt the exact same way. If we EVER pass an animal that is homeless I freak the hell out until we go back. one time I hit an animal (thank god not a cat or dog) and i literally could have thrown up I felt so nauseated. We are cut from the same animal lovin cloth my friend.
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