I'm a Queen

That's right. Crown me the Queen of the Fatties. Wait, that's not right. "Fatties" are people who are thin or normal-sized and make a joke that they are "being fatties" when they eat two slices of pizza and a breadstick. I am not a fatty, I am fat. My pantyhose told me so.

See, a few days ago I bought a new pair of pantyhose from JC Penney. Ladies, you know that chart on the back that tells you what size you should get based on your height and weight? Well, I'm well above the average size and well, well, well into the queen size. Sean tried to make me feel better by telling that I'm his queen, which, you know, totally did not make me feel better at all. I had been feeling pretty good about myself that I'm about 10 pounds and 1 pants size down from what I was when I moved to Alabama last July. But the pantyhose don't lie.

Here's my problem: I love to eat. Y'all, seriously, I love to eat. And I love to eat good southern comfort food. Sometimes I feel pretty darn good about myself and my body despite what I know goes into it. I like my curves on a "skinny day," although the stretch marks on my curves aren't so sexy. But on some days, I don't feel so good about myself. I bought a belt from Wal-Mart in December and had to (well, I didn't have to, but I was having one of those "fat days") get it in an extra large size. I mean, I don't mind buying clothes in large sizes - I've accepted that - but extra large always makes me feel bad. But then, Wal-Mart added insult to injury by making me pay an extra $1 for the extra large size... how would you feel?

Another problem is that I have no will power to hold me accountable to myself. I think I would do so much better in a class where someone else was keeping track of my progress and holding me to a goal, but I just can't do it. You read stories about people who just had a lightbulb go off in their head that they had to lose weight and they did it - stuck to a diet and work out plan and everything - all by themselves. I haven't found that power in me. Excuses, excuses.

I think what I have found least inspiring to me recently are people who have had procedures done and have lost weight very rapidly. Let me throw out a disclaimer right here to say that I know people who have gastric bypass surgery or Lapband have exhausted other weight loss options and need these procedures for health reasons. This is a personal rant. Morbidly obese people have these surgeries done and sometimes drop hundreds of pounds in months or a year. Other people tell them, "you look so great!" and "you've done such a good job!" and "I'm so proud of you!" Frankly, it frustrates me. I'm not nearly big enough for weight loss surgery, but I feel like I should just throw in the towel, gain and gain and gain, have my stomach cut in half, drop the weight equal to that of my smallest friend, and have everyone tell me how great I look.

On the up side, I liked the pantyhose. They fit well and I didn't have to wear my Spanx under them.

Ugh.

In other news, I finally found out what *sn* means when people use it in their status on Facebook. It took me a while because I'm not very tech savvy. In my opinion, you should devote your status to one thing or another; sidenotes have no place in a status update. *sn* follow me on twitter: krmizzle.